As soon as you get married all everyone and anyone asks you is “so when are you having a baby?” This is a question I recently learnt is none of anyone’s business and is actually a private matter. We grow up hearing adults casually ask each other this question and we grow to think that not only is it ok to ask but we are entitled to know and to an answer.
I am an only girl at home and I remember when I was a child someone asking my mom if she was going to have another child after she had just given birth to my youngest brother who was also her last child. My mom vehemently replied no because her last pregnancy had been a complicated one for her and she couldn’t go through that again and the friend kept pushing for my mom to have another child. I was upset by my mom’s response because I wanted a little sister :)
Incidents like these lead us to believe that this is an open topic for everyone but for the couple that desperately wants children but cannot have, it is the last thing they want to hear. Firstly not everyone wants children, respect their wishes and stop asking them this question. Secondly it’s not easy for everyone to have children, so when you ask, it becomes uncomfortable, awkward and mostly hurtful. So the next time you’re at a braai and the children topic comes up, tread lightly, unless of course if everyone has a little one running around then it’s carte blanche as to where te discussion may go.. #justsaying